Originally published on ACEs Connection on , 2017 By Svava Brooks.
Abuse and trauma survivors are incredibly strong people. We know our strength is what helped us survive, and it’s what keeps us going now. Yet we know something is missing.
This missing link is courage. We know we’re strong. But we’ve never allowed ourselves to realize that we’re also courageous people. And we always have been.
That’s because courage is risky. The only thing we’ve ever wanted is what we never had as abused children: safety. Risk makes you vulnerable. No thanks, right?
Hey, I can relate. I knew I was a strong person to have survived over a decade of child sexual abuse. But courageous? Me? Nah, no way. I was willing to work hard on my healing journey, but courage felt too risky and vulnerable. Nope, that’s not me.
Somehow we can’t see courage in ourselves. But it’s easy to see it in others. And that’s where you need to start. Think of someone you believe is not only strong but also courageous. Adopt this person as your role model.
Next, think about what makes this person courageous? It might be her fearless personal authenticity or her honesty. Maybe he’s taken a stand against injustice by his actions or words. Maybe she’s simply chosen the road less traveled. What is it about this person that touches your heart and earns your admiration?
Guess what? Whatever it is that makes this person courageous is a quality you also possess. It’s true. When you choose to heal from abuse and trauma, reach out for support, open yourself to others in an online group for survivors, talk about your past, or receive comfort from other survivors, that’s an act of courage.
Allow the revelation of your courageousness to sink in. When you do, you’ll discover courage is actually a source of safety. Now it’s okay to let your guard down a little, ask for more support, love more, have more fun, and feel more gratitude for everything you’ve accomplished. Why? Because now you know you’re safe.
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