My wish for all “Survivors,” of adverse events resulting in PTSD, from one CSA (Child Sexual Abuse Survivor) “Survivor,” to all trauma “Survivors.”
Although complex trauma may or may not be an issue for periods of time, lessons learned in healing, last a lifetime. The following poem is an endearing perception describing my character after trauma recovery, with the knowledge I am a “Survivor.” The poet felt compelled to express her perception of who she believes I have become and what she feels I still carry with me. I treasure it still, many years later.
She is not angry, because it clouds her judgement.
She is not panicked , because it inhibits her choices.
She is not timid, because it hinders her decisions.
She is not aggressive, because it threatens her goals.
She is not the victim of her environment.
She is focused, and so trusts her instincts.
She is strong,and so faces her fears.
She is patient , and so accepts her limitations.
She is mindful, and so wary of traps.
She is courage, tempered by wisdom.
She has respect, as she knows there are dangers.
She has confidence, as she knows she has skills.
She has insight, as she knows she has weaknesses.
She has power, as she knows there are options.
She has compassion; for all creatures are both hunter and prey.
Thank to W. Habick for her thoughtful and generous expression and for sharing it with me. Now I share it with other “Survivors,” with complex PTSD. Life is complex. We can adapt and flourish, particularly with support of loved ones, friends and colleagues who care enough to accept this “invisible” psychological injury and educate themselves about the lifetime effects complex trauma.
There are characteristics many “Survivors” possess or display which may be interpreted as weak, unapproachable, or distant.
Clearly, the description the poet describes of survival portrays a different picture of a person who can be an asset with a unique skill set of strength, patience and compassion. The outcome for many who have experienced great trauma, and are now “Survivors,” is a “Heart of Gold.”