My picture is still the same, story…fighting for revolutionary change within. It’s not about who we are now or were then. It’s about the journey that took us there from beginning and realizing there is no end.
Meaning we are the pioneers breaking off that last crust of bread to feed another with nothing other than crystal clarity of damnation that is in constant cooperation with addictive behaviors, flashbacks that keep us paralyzed, and the need to break free of co-dependency is the grandiose trumpet of triumph.
To be or not to be….We are pillars, and THE fabric of our unique experiences told only with our own voice and inflection of pain. We are martyrs that pave a new wave for others to follow, unjustifiable by society, inadequately making us feel the need to explain blood dripping expository verbiage that only satisfies the ignorant consciousness of the disillusioned, criminalized by the legalities of a war censored and lost, and when we realize that war is from within; it is then that our last breath will be.. as we leave this earth… will be our victory…told in its own way.
Golden glory but not glorified as we speak the truth for all to hear, feel, and see. Penetrating the consciousness of human beings beyond their boxes of unrealistic explanations…goes beyond the call of duty with failed resources, incompetency, and ineffective re-victimizing outlets that dis-empower and re-traumatize.
Its not about the lack of funding. Its about the lack of human decency from one human being to another whose existence is often dependent on the outcome of some variant factors in their lives of crisis. Even in the moment of saving a child from generations of violent wrath, or ourselves of such degradation, we come to a place where each person either dies, survives, deny, or learn about ‘I understand me’ and ‘I determine my destiny’ and ‘I have no shame because I walk in the light of self love, and amazing self worth’ and ‘You will not determine my fight for me’, ‘ You will not control me or devalue me’.
Such language is not just for the abuser but all those who will come after, the counselors, psychologists, agencies, resources, courts and judges, and more. It is THE fight, THE journey from our beginning eternal souls to our last breath. When we are able to openly say our peace, and give our story even in pieces; appreciating those who have killed, raped, tortured, molested, psychologically imprisoned us to the point where no free will exist, taken away our prosperity to enjoy our livelihood because at some point we continue to allow it to happen but find ourselves unable to break free.
When we are able to forgive ourselves- among-st other factors; then we have reached not just a climax of determination, but a drum line of an indomitable spirit that shines bigger than the sun with the absolute cry of FREEDOM!
~Niki
